Threaded mail in Outlook (no, not really)

As close as it wants to get:
View -> Arrange By -> Custom

  • Group By: Conversation (Descending)
  • Sort... : Received (ascending)

It should be noted that 'conversation' actually means 'subject line', so emails wth either no subject line or a common one get grouped together into one conversation.
Still, it's a bit better than nothing, though the apparent lack of a 'go to next unread email' is a bit of a pain, I'm hoping I've just not found it yet.